Mid Life Melanin MaMa

See in my mind I saw something totally different.

Okay I’m gonna say it.

My summer uniform is a shapeless sack. I snapped a few pictures as my sister was in a fun mood. I look at them an 2 things stood out. Whew I’ve packed on the pounds and these dresses have no shape at all to them.

I love the colors I love the tiers but they are a tent like structure meaning none. Awe geeze well here’s the thing I still like them and I need to focus on my health and put down the carbs.

Wearing something just because I want to. Even though it’s unflattering is a new area for me. Maybe I should return them all. I probably won’t but maybe.

I could see bike shorts, peddle pushers or denim walk shorts underneath.

Honest comments are welcome. I already know. But your comments & feedback will All be appreciated.

Thanks in advance

Greetings Family,

Well as my staycation winds down I find myself packing away some of my beautiful clothing. Some things I cannot stand to look at because I cannot fit them. In the midst of packing I started to notice something. Besides buying multiples I buy and wear the same type of clothing until it is out of my system.

Angie did a wonderful post on pussy bow blouses last week. This brought about a memory of how a few years ago I was obsessed with purchasing and wearing them. I think at one point I had about 14 or 15. Each one beautiful and different. I wore them until I was burnt out. The same with backpack purses. I think with those I was looking for the perfect one for me. Until my reality set in and I decide this was impractical for my lifestyle. I got rid of them all. I love big crossbody and tote bags.

So I was shopping for my capsule wadrobe I'm almost finished I'm thinking about the harsh Chicago winters. I've found myself with my latest addiction/obsession. The mesh peplum top. Oh how I love them they make my heart go pitter patter as I see them in stores or thrifts. I find myself talking out loud. "Yes precious my precious" in my Golum voice from LOTR.

So I've purchased two more from this cheepy store called rainbow. I never try on clothing and unfortunately one does not fit. My favorite one the army green mesh one but the maroon one does. I'll be exchanging the green for a leopard print non mesh on tomorrow. In total with my two new purchases. I have 7 mesh tops 6 of them are peplum and I have 3 regular peplum tops. This obsession /addiction has been going strong for some time.

I want them in every color and style. They are beautiful to me. They define a waist if belted. Unbelted is just as lovely but still with structure. Some of the peplum are over the top big. Feeding into my maximum comfort zone. You can wear a pretty bra underneath if bold or a beautiful blouse patterned or singular in color. To me it is a very forward look.

So do you have an obsession/addiction?

Do you find yourself saying out loud or in your head? Precious my Precious Gives Us Precious

Greetings Family,

Today I wanted to spotlight an up and coming artist. Her name is Amaya and she has been making jewelry for 4 years. Her father is the amazing Fashioner Tem and he has been mentoring Amaya in the ways of stones and jewelry making. I have purchased several pieces from Amaya in the past Necklaces and bracelets.

I  must say that the quality and craftsman ship of the artisans pieces
that Amaya is making now is far beyond her 14 years of age. I have been
purchasing handmade custom pieces from various artist fro the past 15 years. Amaya is a rising star in herearly teenage years. I have a total of 10 customs pieces from Amaya now and all of them are at thrifty prices. Because I am a thrifter by heart but, I love to treat myself to artist made pieces.I wear hand jewelry when I do not feel like wearing necklaces or earings they just add another level of flavor to an outfit.  I love them specifically for dancing no necklaces getting caught on clothing. 

Well hello Family this was inspired by our Angie. I am the hugest proponent of thrifting or op-shoping. There are many who do not have the budget to remake or create a wardrobe from middle to hi-end stores. My clients and I often shop at thrifts or Op-shops. I just love that name Op-Shop thank you Sally for that. It just sounds so much better to me as an American lol.

I often 90% of the time purchase from the Op-Shops but the other 10% is a splurge on myself. I don't do Ann Kline & Michael Kors. They have enough people to keep them in business 4 ever. I like designers like (H.O.T) House of Tem or Creative Flow by Oshun Bey or Hand Cady Couture by Naketa Grant. While most of you have never heard of these names. Just as many have and we slay all day in these one of a kind handmade creations. Each designer is different but each brings something to the table that I or others love.

People have a misconception that because I op-shop or thrift that I am
cheap I’m not. My choices are transparent. Yes I will brag about a
deal found but I will also brag just as much about the beauty that is
custom like my (H.O.T.) grown that was made.

Concerning the gown heard round the world.
This gown is a custom made piece. It is beautifully designed in every way from the Fashioner (H.O.T.) HOUSE OF TEM Tem's House. His custom designed pieces are worth every bit of what I paid for them. Yes, sister has 2 custom pieces and will be INVESTING in more. I love me so I'm worth it. I'm sure you can find something similar If you truly are LUCKY in the thrift.

Heart to heart moment. Not everything I wear is thrift.

I thrift so that I can live and retire travel and purchase things that I love like couture hand made from (H.O.T.) OR HAND CANDY COUTURE.

My friend Angela Smith Sew Sistah of Thrift in Style spoke truth to power that even thrift vintage pieces may cost more than $50 +. My Thrift $$$ are not your $$$ and that is okay. We have to train ourselves to know that we are worth a splurge sometime.

If you want to reach Tem please contact him here with serious inquiries only. https://m.facebook.com/HouseOfTem/…
I've included pictures of my designer items and my thrifted finds all are special to me.

As always thank you for your comments and or just looking at the pictures. I know I can be long winded but hey, what are you gonna do. I love pictures and writing. Have a great one.

I
"Blackbird"

I'm really stretching the Song.  I thought I would just use it for 3 reasons.  I am addicted to the Freebird Fierce Shoe Boot Thingy and I love the Song and Sir Paul McCartney.

I just cannot justify or spend that type of money on this beautiful thing.  That has My name written all over it.  Urban Warrior Gallant Apocalyptic  Queen.

Link to the Song for your afternoon break
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDxfjUEBT9I

Am I a Phenomenal woman?

Who gets to decide

Why do we do this to ourselves?
1)Tear ourselves down.
2)Allow others to tear us down.
3)Hear 99 positive things but crumble at the 1 negative.
4)See a bad photo instead of the 1 that is beautiful
5)Allow negative voices to come into our space and live there.
6)Compare ourselves to the "beautiful " ones.
7)Choose to be less than phenomenal

This post was inspired by myself and how I've been feeling well most of my life and also a post by Heather.enhui. I provided a link if you want to read.

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....-bad-photo

I'm quoting myself now.

"I'm not the beautiful person that gets asked out by someone. I'm not that person who men will turn there heads to look at like my beautiful best friend. I know my place and situation. I host a rebellion in my mind everyday against the images as an onslaught of things that tell me I'm not good enough."
I was at Combat to Chic Thrift Boutique last night volunteering as I normally do.
Link provided:https://www.facebook.com/combat2chic/?ref=ts&fref=ts
Donations and guest sellers items were being put out in the racks. I am a curvy short size 18 or 2x with a 11wide with shoe. Thanks daddy hahahahahaha. Clothing shoes undergarments are the bane of my existence. It is challenging on a perfect day to find a good sturdy shoe. So my perfect wardrobe came in by way of guest seller. Combat to Chic host guest sellers every month which is phenomenal. Boot after boot my mouth was hanging open and almost near hit the floor when I saw these White knee high boots that fit me like a second skin. Baby PLEASE! LAWD I About had a heart attack. Lolo
I am having an all white fit made and the Designer TEM from HOUSE of TEM. He asked me to try it on. I did that and it needed some small adjustments. It was a beautiful all white one shoulder jumpsuit. It was Phenomenal I felt well, I felt like it was not right for me. Who was I to wear something so beautiful. Meosha,Tem and my friend Angela said that I looked great beyond great to the point of embarrassing me and making me feel uncomfortable with the comments of beautiful.
I started to wonder why I was feeling like that. The jumpsuit had everything I loved flowlyness wide legs rouched on the sides so I could tie the pant leg up if I needed too. Wide and deep pockets for carrying my stuff and housing dancing. Beautiful one shoulder sleeve and was draped to the gods. I was told repeatedly that my body looked beyond phenomenal in it. Tem said that is what a custom garment is supposed to make you feel like a phenomenal woman.
Only I did not feel phenomenal. I felt like a fish out of water. A kid out of her element. I like attention but was not sure how to receive it. It feels like I was playing dress up and this beautiful garment was made for me and had everything I wear on a daily basis. Why did I not feel phenomenal? What did I need to think on to make not feel worthy of being beautiful? I needed time to myself but we had a lot of work to do. We had to put away clothing. Take pictures talk and just enjoy each other's company as friends do.
I went on a low budget shopping spree at the op shop a few days before. The Salvation Army down the street from my house had a big donation from Layne Bryant new undergarments with the tags still on them. These sets were $2 each and my size. I snapped up 5 sets. Even though they had the tags still on, everything gets washed. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would purchase undergarments from the op shop. There I was putting them in the basket. All the while thinking "these are for a phenomenal woman". "These are not my life". "My life is Hanes her way cotton granny panties ". But in the back of my mind I kept hearing Tamar Braxton "girl get your life"
As our night ended we all said our goodbyes Tem said he would make the necessary adjustments and we went our separate ways. I left with my purchases of these boots and booties. All I could say when trying them on are "these are so pretty". "They fit me". "This is not my life". In the back of my head I kept hearing. "Dress for the life you live". On the flip side I kept hearing. "Woman get your life" "get the life you want". " get your life", "create the life you want and deserve ". "Be phenomenal". Like The poet Maya Angelou wrote.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I know this post is long. I hope you were able to see what I see. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made. Now we just have to believe it.