Putting myself Together...

Very long

Almost 2 weeks ago I posted about having a craptastic wardrobe.

From that moment until this I’ve given myself a make over for our new journey and my return to work. Many know my daughter was diagnosed with one of the rarest viruses in the world AFM Acute (suddenly and immediate) Flaccid (limp body and internal organs) Myelitis (swelling in the back and spine) on January 20,2020. Zi’Joy lost control and function of her body from the waist down.

My priority has only been for my rainbow baby who is almost 3 and her healing and all of her Drs/Physical/Occupational therapy and counseling appointments. My craptastic mom wardrobe was severely lacking and I was showing signs of just not caring about myself. As one YLF Family said you are experiencing an emotional trauma.

I decided to do a major overhaul of my wardrobe and it helped that we are moving so I decided to see what works for my life now and work life when I return from UnPaid FMLA. My body is not what it used to be and I’ve put on some weight that has come with stress eating.

I bagged up 5 large trash bags for donation things that I did not love or were not used in my life . 2 bags went to the trash can the others to my local donation center. I went through all of my footwear and did the same.

Next I made a list of what I needed what would serve me and moving forward what our days are like . Sitting waiting bending standing riding in long car rides for appointments meetings etc etc i did the same for work.

I set my budget lord sometimes you have to treat yourself. The good news for me is I’m a multiples person. If I see something and it looks good I buy in 2 or 5 different colors. Cause it’s easier.

I went to Walmart, Citi Trends, Rainbow and The local Thrift store because I did not have to think to hard or go to other stores with list in hand.

(These were all serviceable items)

1) 5 parirs of jeggings (different colors)

2)6 pairs of jeans for work
(the seat and thighs wear out over time)

3) 4 pairs of athletic bottoms 2 calf length and 2 floor length (for OT & PT)

4) foundational garments
4 sports bras
2 regular bras
20 new pairs of socks

*Rainbow and Citi trends
(My fun Flair)

1) 2 sweat tops (zip up red and yellow)

2) 3 Afrocentric tops (graphic tee shirts)

3) 5 dresses ( all cute and seasonless)

4). 1 skirt and 1 top with flair.
(Would have bought multiple but they were sold out in my size)

*Thrift Shopping
(My Frugal Style)

1) 2 sweater dresses (multiple different colors)

2) Wool sweater coat (So warm perfect for car rides and travel transitions to car parking lots and hospital visits when lugging a toddler around.

3) a pair of new boots from jambo. An excellent line of footwear my size. Looking for more retail $140 paid $12.99

I carry a military style backpack that I’ve had sense Zi’Joy was born and it serves me very well I can be hands free to hold little ones hands.

This is my form of Athlisure Style and part updated Grunge look that I rocked in the 90s. I threw away all of my pregnancy leggings except for one pair I wear around the house.

We got some great news about Zi’Joy she will never be fully rid of AFM she is 1 of 900 cases world wide and 1 in a million she is a medical Miracle and her leading Neurologist in this Field says she is the the top 5% of recovery. The best she has ever seen. Shriners Children's Hospital is on Wednesday so hoping they will take our case.

This was a fun post and thank you for reading

Mama Donna.


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My Incredibly Craptastic Wardrobe

This has been my look and probably why I really don’t post much anymore.

I debated on if I should Post this picture or not.

Today was the 1st time I looked in the mirror. I mean really looked.
I saw me for the 1st time
I used to be so fashionable.
I realized slowly but surely my wardrobe had become leggings, Ill fitting T-shirt, and white socks and cheap Walmart gym shoes.

I actually had more Ill fitting clothes in my hand to purchase to just do the job of covering me up.

Almost 3 years into motherhood I’ve had 2 self care moments and both were with my daughter with me.

She is back in daycare 2 hours a day 3 days a week. When not in daycare we are at Drs appointments and Physical and Occupational Therapy. I use that time to run errands and make phone calls and appointments.

I put what I had in my hand back on the rack. My body has changed so much and time is precious when solo parenting a sick child but if I am completely honest I was headed this way long before AFM Acute Flaccid Myelitis interrupted my daughter’s life on January 10,2020.

Tonight I’m taking a few hours to go through my things and purge keeping only what looks good and makes me happy and is serviceable. There are moments where I see who I used to be. I realize that no matter how hard I try to hold onto that person.

She is no longer me.

So today I said goodbye to her because I’m evolving into something new. I know I am a Queen and a Warrior but even They rest. Right now I’m treading water but I want to build a strong and sturdy ship that will last. AFM will not Win but it has certainly been a fight.

Someone asked me today why are you not bubbly anymore. I said because I’m finding my way in our new normal. With an outline of what I thought our life was going to be like vs the reality & odyssey we are currently on. I think Year one will be the hardest until we find our rhythm and I’m only in month 1.

Zi’Joy will be 3 years old in 60 days
I will be 46 years old in 90 days

I choose to put the clothes back that I had in hand after someone laughed at how I was dressed. She seems like that kind of person that would make fun of you and post a craptastic photo of you on social media with an horrific title.

I just wanted to tell her I was a tired solo parent who’s toddler in the midst of a battle after being completely paralyzed from the waist down at the beginning of the year of 2020 and I’m doing the best I can to keep it together each day. Instead I just put back those I’ll fitting cheap clothes and walked out of the store.

Bruised but NOT DEFEATED
MaMa Donna


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