Mid Life Melanin MaMa

Awkward photo moments

So I was thinking about how we always want to see ourselves in the best light. We always want to put our best foot forward. We don't want to see our flaws let alone have others see us. In this journey of life and to self the reality for me is those awkward moments those that may be not so pretty to look at make us, me who I am today. Earlier this week I working on my professional page. You see the joy of the now but you never see the journey to that joy. You never ask my story or see the awkward before the beauty picture. Up until 2 years ago I did not take pictures. Now I take pictures everyday. I love them of myself and others. I love the touching moment between people and my friends. So here we have the awkward moments and the silent moments in between that you never get to see. Remember it's not about the destination it's about the joy in the journey.

I've always felt like that awkward woman but for the most part I'm learning how to take pictures. Thes are self explanatory. Some are subtle some are blurry outfit failures. I invite you to laugh along with me.

Full Definition of awkward
1
obsolete : perverse
2
archaic : unfavorable, adverse
3
a : lacking dexterity or skill (as in the use of hands) <awkward with a needle and thread>
b : showing the result of a lack of expertness <awkward pictures>
4
a : lacking ease or grace (as of movement or expression) <awkwardwriting>
b : lacking the right proportions, size, or harmony of parts : ungainly<an awkward design>
5
a : lacking social grace and assurance <an awkward newcomer>
b : causing embarrassment <an awkward moment>
6
: not easy to handle or deal with : requiring great skill, ingenuity, or care <an awkward load> <an awkward diplomatic situation>

We are going to focus on this one:

4
4. a : lacking ease or grace (as of movement or expression) <awkwardwriting>
b : lacking the right proportions, size, or harmony of parts : ungainly<an a

You are more than welcome to comment look add a picture or a story of your awkward.

For the Mind, Body & Soul.

I've been wanting to write a long post on these but the visuals will speak for themselves. Work has me pulling out my hair so I thought I would share what the news would not.

The Beauty of The Chi.........and surrounding areas.

I've taken most if not all or I've scouted them out. My vision.

Graduation Day

Tuesday night our youngest graduated from 8th grade. My has graduations changed. My sister and I raised my niece Ashay jointly. You know that whole it takes a village. Well I've been a co-parent for 20+ years. It has be such a mountain top & valley journey. Teens are a unique creatures. Pray for me ya'll. lol

So the dinner/graduation was this big fancy thing. I was amazed. The teens graduated and sang song and were awarded for there achievements. Then we had a beautiful buffet dinner at this huge convention center in Tinley Park. It was pretty amazing. Lasted and celebrated well into the night. As the kids left the stage. They played Ain't no Stopping us Now by Cool-N-The Gang. It was a really great night.

Of course I took a maximal amount of pictures because I'm the proud auntie. And I enjoy pictures. Maybe it's a new hobby. Ashay had all of her aunties mom and family there. I forgot to get a picture of her fit but I did get the cap and gown. When did 8th graders start wearing heels? IJS. Wow. My baby had on flats and still stood tall at 5'7. She looked age appropriate.

I hope you enjoy the pictures. As for me per usual my whole outfit was thrifted or op shopped. A few things I've learned. My summer shoes consists of boots and gym shoes. I need sandles. I have 2 pr of gladiators sandals in the same style this black pair and a tan pair. Next I learned that I really love thrifting and my closet is cohesive. Took about 15 minutes to pull this look together another 20 for shoes.

My nephew took my pictures and we had a chance to talk and bond he just graduated from college 2 weeks ago. So now all three of the children have graduated. Last 2 pics are of the 3 after graduation. Brianne oldest Masters degree, Charles Bachelors degree, Ashay Elementary school 8th grade.

Sorry I've been so short. My work week has been......challenging.

Per usual thanks for reading lurking commenting or just looking at the pics.

I find myself saying more often than not.

"Buy things for the life you have"

Instead of

"Create the life you want"

My friend Meosha says.....

"That's not my life"

Meosha gave me the most beautiful knit off the shoulder sweater. SHE Made THIS STATEMENT.

It got me to wonder. What if we created the life we wanted?

I just now remembered that is exactly what I DID.

From abused house wife and soldier. To Communications Engineering Free spirit. I created the personal/work life I wanted.

I was intentional about creating that life and getting it. Now people say you yes you are such a "free spirit" or "inspiration ". I say the same about Meosha. But we well all of us created this life we have now.

So my question to you is.

What if we created the LIFE WE WANTED?

WE RECREATED OUR NEW FASHION LIVES.

WE CREATED THAT, WE EVOLVED INTENTIONALLY.

SO WHAT IF WE BOUGHT FOR THE LIFE WE WANTED TO CREATE?

ALRIGHT FAMILY LET'S HEAR IT.

Hello fam. Once again it is Saturday night and I find myself sitting in my car with my car buddy Mr Wolf E. Listing to HOUSE music and typing my blog on my phone. Ah today was a great day. I have to tell you my fit for the day might shock some of you all. I say if your gonna do a look you have to own it. I don't mind the feedback and constructive criticism. It's ok to not be okay with a look although I love it

So today started with me beginning in my car. For some reason I see my car as a safe space. We had a flock of seagulls beside our little suburb. Next we then head to the city The Chi for some summertime beautiful fun.

For the first stop on the Thrift in Time tour was Zero Landfill. You get free swag From business that go out of business. Marble, Beautiful batik, home fixtures couches cushions refrigerators all new . Oh my it was heaven. I ran into OTHER SASSY Thrifters and we did what we do best turned it into a Runway thrifty fashion show. After Zero Landfill we headed to Combat to Chic.

On the way TEM and myself saw some murals we did a mini photo shoot shoot pictures to come at on a seperate post. We had a wonderful time. We packed out my little car and had to do a drive by of his house where we picked up his wonderful daughter. Oh my she is beautiful. While enroute to C2C to volunteer we saw a Fire station with a huge Rooster in it and what looked like a thrifty sale. Turns out it was converted from fire house to a hand made blown artist glass sanctuary. We met lovely people and a mother and son team. Jason was paralyzed by gun violence when he was only 16. His mother pearl at 85 takes care him and brings him faithfully every Saturday. Although paralyzed on his right side he makes beautiful works of art. This right here is why I love writing and talking to people. We had conversation and Pearl was wonderful. I found out that Pearls husband was a firefighter and worked at the station. He is no longer alive but pearl is a spitfire and we talked for a good hour while I took pictures. While I was talking and taking pictures of the happenings at the firehouse this happens.

Young Afro-American men in sharp fits waking one behind the other. I literally ran across 4 lanes of traffic to get to them and take there pictures. If was a beautiful sight to behold. They told me they were graduating on this day from H.S. all had been accepted to college on scholarships full rides. I thanked them and said how proud I was of them. Tem and I continued on our journey We stopped to have pizza and pop. Sorry no pictures. But I do have pictures of the huge rooster that was in the firehouse cage. I was told that when the firehouse was sold and converted. It was on the specific condition that the rooster would stay. Lol

So next we headed to Combat to Chic where things were in high gear. Meosha always has sales like penny sales fill your bag for $1 etc. C2C is a resale thrift op shop. While there because I'm trying to grow my business I did a giveaway. Other people had to nominate other persons who they wanted to see get the first ever prize from the thrift. It was a Massi painting I had thrifted about a month ago from the Salvation Army. I will provide a link if you want to see a live presentation. https://m.facebook.com/Thrift-.....=bookmarks

After that was it just attending to this beautiful blog my budding business on FB answering questions and HOUSING. Oh on the way home I took pictures of murals.

As always thanks for reading. I'll up load plenty of pictures very soon. Thank you for reading, looking, lurking or feedback.

I wanted to share my HOUSE with My Family. I love the joyful sound that HOUSE can Bring to a cloudy day.

House is so much more than Music. It is HOME

This is one of my favorite international DJs . MR. Alan King.

http://djalanking.podomatic.co.....9_07-07_00

I
"Blackbird"

I'm really stretching the Song.  I thought I would just use it for 3 reasons.  I am addicted to the Freebird Fierce Shoe Boot Thingy and I love the Song and Sir Paul McCartney.

I just cannot justify or spend that type of money on this beautiful thing.  That has My name written all over it.  Urban Warrior Gallant Apocalyptic  Queen.

Link to the Song for your afternoon break
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDxfjUEBT9I

The power of giving back

How often do you give back?
Do you give back?
When you bring something into the house do you take an equal amount back?
How to you check yourself?
Do you check yourself?
How do you hold yourself accountable?

We love to shop don't we? Well, I don't know if you do but, I do! I love it. I love the anticipation of finding that one item I've had my heart set on. The perfect EF Harem pants, crop pant, shoe, boot, heel, coat fur, picture, table, bedroom set. I love thinking about what it will be like when I find my treasure. I think about what I will wear it with how I will wear it and what wardrobe hole will it fill.

Most importantly I think about the Scoregasm-
When something happens that is so righteously awesome you pretty much scream out loud.
The feeling acquired when thinking about scoring perfect treasure.

When you have found your ultimate Scoregasm and bring your treasure home. What do you do with other things you no longer love? Do you stuff your closet until it is bloated? Do you sit a bag by the door vowing to donate but somehow it never gets donated? Do you go through the donation bag finding yourself pulling items that you half like out? Saying to yourself "I will wear it". Maybe saying this but you know you have not worn that item in over 5 years.

Take heart this is your time to shine! This is your giving back moment! This is your time to know that you can give to a great cause! You can be your own hero/shero! You can change a life with the power of giving back. You have access to so much power or potential to access power. Let me tell you how. By donating to your local charity of choice you can do all the things that I stated above. You have a choice with so many charities out here there is always someone to help. Some woman,man,girl, or boy who could use that thing you have not thought about in years.

I keep a bag ready. Sometimes I will wear a treasure and never wear it again. My closet is a continued revolving evolution of progress and creativity. The thrift or op shop is my main place to shop and donate. I find the latest and the greatest. So I donate the latest and the greatest. The next time you bring smothering into your home make sure that you love it. If you don't love it then leave it! How many life lessons can we learn from that. Oh baby if I had the time! I see my treasures go to good homes and other women veterans who are in need. I also volunteer there so I am always amazed at the people whom receive joy from something I donated.

I donate to a non profit charity call Combat To Chic: https://www.facebook.com/comba.....38;fref=ts

My business is called Thrift in Time Please visit my FB page and like and share:
https://www.facebook.com/Thrif.....page_panel

Whom do you donate to?
PSA don't donate what you would not wear! Just cause it's going to the charity shop does not mean you can donate trash. Edit yourself! Before you reck yourself!

Thank you for reading or looking at the pictures or just stoping by. Leave a comment it makes me happy. Now go and look at the pictures cause we love them.
Last few pictures 16 is Tem from House of Tem a fabulous designer.
https://m.facebook.com/profile.....=typeahead
And Meosha of Combat to Chic. Tem is making my white jumpsuit. He is a Fashion Designer.

"Throwback Thursday"

So today is Thursday on FB I saw that my friends were doing a "Throwback Thursday"

FB is where I spend a majority of my time when not volunteering,working HOUSING, meeting with friends,thrifting, going to the library or just enjoying the day. So I'm loving these "on this day". Series. This was my thoughts 5 years ago:

"Cutting my hair every year to remind myself it is not what's outside that matters but, inside." Quote by me lololol hahah

Who has not had struggles dealing with there hair? If you have not and it has always been perfect please let a sister know. Hahahahahaha I'll be the first one to admit that it truly has been a struggle for me.

From the funky braids in my hair
let your soul glow carefree curl
press -n-curl
weaves
getting wiggy with it
frying it dyeing it and laying it to the side
Clean shaven que ball
Tri-color
Dred-Loc Rasta
Wiling out FRO
Head wrap Sistah
Current situation of HIGH TOP Mohawk Fro-Hawk

Hair journeys are like life journeys a big old road to the discovery of self. In the African American community our hair is a source of pride often referred to as "her crown". Our hair can also be a thorn in the side if we do not know how to care for it.

My journey to myself and who I am now started with this first picture of braids I'm the little one on the left rocking the braids and jr mustache. Lolol oh man. My sister had what was referred to as good hair or easy to manage. I had many late nights on Saturday with the press in curl. Sitting with a hot comb by the stove praying to god that my mommy would not burn the tip of my ears,forehead or the back of my neck while straightening my hair with heat. I can still here the sizzle as the hot-comb and the green hair grease sizzled, frying my poor hair.

In my day in the 80s. We did not perm or straighten our young kids hair with perms. We had the CAREFREE CURL,The S Curl, and the Wave NuVoe and the Jeheri Curl. Processed curled hair. None of it was "care free". I was young maybe about 8 or 9. Think The Jackson 5 during the 80s my mom had the perfect Michael Jackson hair. My sister and I walked around with half Afro half curl always with the Jeheri Curl plastic shower cap on. Ugh the memories of going to summer girl scout camp. Our camp counselors meaning well made us wash our hair everyday. It was a nightmare. They were very ignorant and we were the only 2 little black girls. My sister and I might as well have been aliens. While the others had clean hair our was in pretty bad shape at the end of the summer camp. Have you ever tried to use Jeheri curl spray in the woods? It attracts bugs with its sticky sweet smell. We did not have off back in the day. Lolo lol

I was in H.S. The first time I cut my hair bald, well almost bald. I was a jr. In H.S. And this was the early 90s a very punk rock phase in my life. Sorry no pictures but my hair was shaved with a slight bang in the frog and a nice tail in the back. I loved it my family not so much. I had to cut my hair off to get rid of the curl process. A curl changes the natural texture of ones hair so it cannot change back you have to start new or bald or let it grow out which is a whole other set of Circumstances. I remember the day clearly. I had a head full of curls " follow the drip,follow the drip". Ugh how did I live? My sister said we cannot see your eyes because by my jr. Year in H.S. I had grown my hair long. I went to the barber and said shave it all off and it was the mot freedom I had felt ever.

That was the moment I no longer had any attachment to my hair at 17years old. I knew that I could rock a bald look or a head full of hair. Letting go and cutting my hair taught me that my hair is not the sum value of who I am. I've had large Afros to clean shaven. I am me Phenomenal Woman Phenomenally ME.

So come with me on a visual journey of my hair evolution on this "Throwback Thursday "

As always thanks for reading,lurking and or commenting. Comments give me warm and fuzziness inside. Lol

#1 baby Donna on the left,
#2 H.S. Freshman Donna on the left in the yellow (sister Desirre in the red and white sweater).
#3 first deployment Donna 19 years old in the Army
#4 shaving hair Donna
#5/6 weaved up Mohawk Donna
#7/8 bald again Donna
#9 wigged up Donna
#10 tried a color hated it Donna (it was supposed to be purple #epicfail)
#11/12 Fred-loc Donna
#13/14 headwraps(we still wrap it)
#15/17 unlocked my Dreds(with the help of my darling sister Desiree)
#16,18,19, my forest to death cut
#20 my fly fly cut and my wonderful barber Denard he gets me.
21 extra daddy and donna

Am I a Phenomenal woman?

Who gets to decide

Why do we do this to ourselves?
1)Tear ourselves down.
2)Allow others to tear us down.
3)Hear 99 positive things but crumble at the 1 negative.
4)See a bad photo instead of the 1 that is beautiful
5)Allow negative voices to come into our space and live there.
6)Compare ourselves to the "beautiful " ones.
7)Choose to be less than phenomenal

This post was inspired by myself and how I've been feeling well most of my life and also a post by Heather.enhui. I provided a link if you want to read.

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....-bad-photo

I'm quoting myself now.

"I'm not the beautiful person that gets asked out by someone. I'm not that person who men will turn there heads to look at like my beautiful best friend. I know my place and situation. I host a rebellion in my mind everyday against the images as an onslaught of things that tell me I'm not good enough."
I was at Combat to Chic Thrift Boutique last night volunteering as I normally do.
Link provided:https://www.facebook.com/combat2chic/?ref=ts&fref=ts
Donations and guest sellers items were being put out in the racks. I am a curvy short size 18 or 2x with a 11wide with shoe. Thanks daddy hahahahahaha. Clothing shoes undergarments are the bane of my existence. It is challenging on a perfect day to find a good sturdy shoe. So my perfect wardrobe came in by way of guest seller. Combat to Chic host guest sellers every month which is phenomenal. Boot after boot my mouth was hanging open and almost near hit the floor when I saw these White knee high boots that fit me like a second skin. Baby PLEASE! LAWD I About had a heart attack. Lolo
I am having an all white fit made and the Designer TEM from HOUSE of TEM. He asked me to try it on. I did that and it needed some small adjustments. It was a beautiful all white one shoulder jumpsuit. It was Phenomenal I felt well, I felt like it was not right for me. Who was I to wear something so beautiful. Meosha,Tem and my friend Angela said that I looked great beyond great to the point of embarrassing me and making me feel uncomfortable with the comments of beautiful.
I started to wonder why I was feeling like that. The jumpsuit had everything I loved flowlyness wide legs rouched on the sides so I could tie the pant leg up if I needed too. Wide and deep pockets for carrying my stuff and housing dancing. Beautiful one shoulder sleeve and was draped to the gods. I was told repeatedly that my body looked beyond phenomenal in it. Tem said that is what a custom garment is supposed to make you feel like a phenomenal woman.
Only I did not feel phenomenal. I felt like a fish out of water. A kid out of her element. I like attention but was not sure how to receive it. It feels like I was playing dress up and this beautiful garment was made for me and had everything I wear on a daily basis. Why did I not feel phenomenal? What did I need to think on to make not feel worthy of being beautiful? I needed time to myself but we had a lot of work to do. We had to put away clothing. Take pictures talk and just enjoy each other's company as friends do.
I went on a low budget shopping spree at the op shop a few days before. The Salvation Army down the street from my house had a big donation from Layne Bryant new undergarments with the tags still on them. These sets were $2 each and my size. I snapped up 5 sets. Even though they had the tags still on, everything gets washed. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would purchase undergarments from the op shop. There I was putting them in the basket. All the while thinking "these are for a phenomenal woman". "These are not my life". "My life is Hanes her way cotton granny panties ". But in the back of my mind I kept hearing Tamar Braxton "girl get your life"
As our night ended we all said our goodbyes Tem said he would make the necessary adjustments and we went our separate ways. I left with my purchases of these boots and booties. All I could say when trying them on are "these are so pretty". "They fit me". "This is not my life". In the back of my head I kept hearing. "Dress for the life you live". On the flip side I kept hearing. "Woman get your life" "get the life you want". " get your life", "create the life you want and deserve ". "Be phenomenal". Like The poet Maya Angelou wrote.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I know this post is long. I hope you were able to see what I see. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made. Now we just have to believe it.