That's not my life...

Hey family how are you on this day?

Have you ever said something similar to this? That's not my life! Often times it is said that we should dress for the life that we have not for the one that we want. When I first began my style journey I wanted to have that aspirational look. I thought I needed button-downs and heels and makeup and all the latest and greatest. Needless to say that did not work for my life. Angie was a fresh person that really heard that said dress her life that you have not the one that you want.

So let's talk shoes I had to bid a fond farewell to 90% of my shoe wardrobe recently. They were all comfortable pretty stack block heels that were chunky enough to support my lovely curves for hours upon hours. Why the sudden style shift you ask? First off thank you for asking. Next because my whole life has shifted.

So as most know I'm 43 and will be 44 in one month. I have my beautiful rainbow baby and my body has physically changed. When pregnant my feet started to grow and spread. I knew that they may not ever go back to my size 11 wide. I knew that my feet were growing so I bought temporary shoes. The shoes that will fill the space until my feet reverted back. Well I had to say goodbye to those shoes.

This is my new reality that I am finally accepting. I have one pair of heels in my wardrobe left only because I bought them in two sizes size 11 wide and size 12. So this is turning into my spring wardrobe early summer I have to figure out something in the summer.

Suggestions for summer shoes are more than welcome I like closed for shoes. I'd rather invest into good pair of summer shoes then a whole bunch of cheap e fill in the space shoes.

This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.


  • rachylou replied 3 years ago

    Are you a 12 regular now, LD?

  • Helena replied 3 years ago

    Yikes, that's tough Ledonna ... My sister is a similar shoe size and it's hard enough to find, let alone to have to start from scratch. They don't tell you how much your body will change after pregnancy, in the oddest ways, do they? They leave us plenty of surprises!

    No great ideas for dressier summer shoes as I have none, but for casual, I live in canvas sneakers when I need closed toes. Keds- style usually. There are so many breathable athletic sneakers that are stylish right now too. I love my Birkenstocks too and they have fun colors and metallic styles, not sure if they do a closed toe style? Good luck with the search!

  • Bijou replied 3 years ago

    Ledonna, after having my son I also went up a half size in shoes too. Given you have a toddler, who is likely to be a runner very quickly, you need shoes that you move quickly in to keep up with her. This of course does not last forever, in the most part, they do like to stick with you it is just if they see something interesting and wander off...

    I love your current shoe collection. I have some perforated leather shoes that give ventilation, are closed in and flat. Picture #4 is wonderful, you both look fantastic.

  • RobinF replied 3 years ago

    Is the first pic shoes you had to get rid of? That's a bummer, some pretty cute ones there. I'm afraid I'm no help with new shoes. I'm a sandal fan as soon as it gets warm enough. 

  • cindysmith replied 3 years ago

    Ledonna, I don't have any answers because my feet were kind of small most of my life. Until they spread out and because more average sized. Sending (((hugs)))

  • efbgen replied 3 years ago

    Some thoughts from the “peanut gallery “( you are too young to know the origins of that comment so go ask an older adult in your life- lol)
    Babies change everything but the pros will always outway the cons even on your worst day. That said-
    While you dress for the life you have there is such a thing as “dabbling” in that which you wish to aspire to so long as you keep it 100 (real).That is how we grow as a person in life and fashion. Look at Bijou and her scarf challenge and all who are joining in. They are dabbling. Never give up on aspiring but consider modifying your aspirational look in incremental steps not rushing to an end game that might not totally be you. Remember that song it’s not the mountain but the climb? It’s the process of discovery and the journey- not all or nothing.
    On shoes and feet-
    I have big feet also ( we call them canoes in this House) and problem feet so I really get you. If you ever get to NY area there is a place in northern NJ ( Paramus is outside NYC) called Globe shoes. They specialize in odd ( read long and wide) sizes. I make a day trip and purchase several pairs ( I use to use one SA in particular- she was dynamite- but she left- insert cry). Anyway- Google Globe Shoes- Paramus NJ and check the website out because I think they ship. If you see a name brand style you like- if it can be had in long and wide these folks can get it for you.
    Now go hug that beautiful baby of yours

  • LaPed replied 3 years ago

    Hi Ledonna! Nice to see you and your little cutie-pie. :)

    My feet grew during pregnancy and never shrank back down. My mom's and grandmother's feet did the same, so maybe it's partially genetic. I also hike/walk a lot, and doing it while carrying a baby was no doubt a contributing factor too! 

    For summer shoes, my first thought, like TG, was Birkenstocks. Come in a wide width and an extended size range. There are lots of cute stlyes and colours available (remember that a "Regular" in Birks is a D-width and "Narrow" is a B-width), but if you want  closed-toe they have the Boston clog: 

    Also, I really love my Allbirds sneakers. They are unisex styling and go up to a 14 in the Mens section. Super soft, stretchy upper -- only come in one width but they way they're constructed is very accommodating for wider feet. In addition to the original wool ones, they're now doing a breathable summer version made out of Tencel mesh:

    You might also check out Rockport's Cobb Hill line:
    They offer wide and extra-wide in a lot of styles and may have some 12's available. Other brands to check out, off the top of my head, are Clarks and Naturalizer -- both offer wide widths and go up to a 12 in some styles.

  • Janet replied 3 years ago

    So nice to see you and your beautiful girl -- she's getting big so quickly already! 

    I'm sorry you're having to let go of so much of your shoe wardrobe, but kudos to you for realizing what's not working for you and letting go! It's important to make room in our lives for things that only work for us, rather than hanging onto things that no longer do. 

  • Xtabay replied 3 years ago

    Hi LD, nice to hear your update.  I feel you on the shoe situation, and there are probably few things more important than the right shoes for a new mom!  I've always been a big fan of TOMS shoes.  (, and in stores, too.)  They go up to size 12 and offer everything from casual to dressy, with vegan options as well.  I've had so many pairs of them and never had any that weren't comfortable.  Bonus:  they even have a "Mommy and Me" collection on their site!

    I hope you enjoy your shoe hunt!

  • Ledonna N. replied 3 years ago

    Xtabay  Come Through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You had me at "Mommy & Me"  I have extra fussy feet so I will be taking a look.  Thank you.

    Janet  this is so true and technically I held on to them for 1 year so it was time.  I had to bid them farewell.

    La Pedestrienne  I'm going to be checking these out. Thank  you so much and I would have to agree with you about the heredity thing.  My sis spread and my mama did also.  I guess it was wishful thinking that I would go back.  That and it is hard to find great shoes. 

    efbgen you have provider the laughter for the morning and for this I thank you.  We call them boat feet  in our house.  I was blessed with the largest and the way Zi'Joy is growing she will have them also.  Poor dear thing.  Finding her the proper baby walking shoe was a challenge.  I believe in the old fashioned walker you know the white hard bottom I found those and the same pair in black in wide width.

    cindysmith thank you for the hugs I feel the love.

    RobinF sadly this is what is left of my wardrobe all of them are relatively new.  I have high standards and fussy feet this is what made the cut.

    Bijou I have to agree.  She is already darting away from me.  I have to be fast at least for the next 4 or 5  years.  I love gym shoes and stylish flats but I need durability so for now it will be gym shoes.

    Rachy Lou Why yes I am tis true

    TorontoGirl  I hear you and canvas is the way to go.  Unfortunately keds does not work for my fussy feet.  thank you for the suggestions.  I'm off to look at some Birkenstock.

  • JAileen replied 3 years ago

    My feet went up a half size, and never went back. I was sad, but refused to cram my feet into too small shoes. I thought I was in a hard place, going up to 10, but 12 is much harder to find, I know. My mom always wore 9 or 9 1/2, but now, at 93, she wears 10 1/2 or 11. She has found some cute looking sporty shoes, though.

  • Suz replied 3 years ago

    You are doing the right thing to let the old ones go, but I imagine it's tough to get rid of a few of those! 


    I wish Sveta were here because she is also a larger size and has a few brands. I think she sometimes shops at Long Tall Sally for footwear as well as other items. This probably links to the Canadian site but maybe it will redirect you:
    They seem to be showing a lot of sandals but maybe there are more closed shoes also? 

  • replied 3 years ago

    Oh no, 90%?! Such a huge hit to the numbers!
    I really like the ones you’ve kept though.
    I’m glad you were able to Lee a pair of heels—-those ones seem really versatile.

  • Barbara Diane replied 3 years ago

    Munro carrys a wide range of sizes and widths and have information on their lasts, so once you know which ones work for you it is easy to find another pair that is likely to fit. Unfortunately for me they changed their lasts so the closed toe shoes no longer fit me. Occasionally they show up at Nordstrom Rack, but I get them at Nordstrom.

  • Ledonna N. replied 3 years ago

    JAileen that is exactly what I'm looking for cute sporty to keep up with a little toddler. This is my life. Lol

    Suz we used to have a long tall Sally. Oh that was years ago. It was for 5he best to let them go.

    Smittie I really like these and they can go with anything. Bonus I can keep up with my toddler for now in them

    Barbara Diane I will have to check out both thank you

  • Carol replied 3 years ago

    I've been faithful to Payless for a long time, but I know there are more quality shoes.  For reasonable comfort and style, and decent quality, try Dexflex Comfort from Payless. 

  • rachylou replied 3 years ago

    I like Payless. Wide range of sizes, including narrow and wide fits. Very walkable, even the heels some of them.

  • shevia replied 3 years ago

    Definitely check out online sources. And if I run into anything good in size 12 I will keep you in mind :) !

  • rachylou replied 3 years ago

    I don’t know that I can choose shoes for someone else, lol, but these came up online...

  • CocoLion replied 3 years ago

    Gotta put in my plug for clogs... they last forever, easy on and off, and are slip resistant.  Most people prefer Danskos but their insteps aren't high enough for me so I wear Sanitas.  I have wide feet that just seem to get wider as I age (not overall bigger, just wider).   Maybe it's like the way breasts start to hang lower as we age, or the way our ears are supposed to grow (especially on old men), but I digress.  I can happily say that Sanitas run wide (like Birks) and their wide widths are even wider.

    ETA -- I just checked and Sanitas do not go to your size, but Danskos go to a size 42 which is 11.5-12.

  • Ledonna N. replied 3 years ago

    CoCo Lion Looking closely at clogs

    Rachy I would have to check reviews.  I need a wide supportive.

    Carol and Rachy I have 4 pr in the pictures from pay less 12  i was surprised pleasantly

    Shevia thank you for thinking of me.

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